Monday, October 20, 2008

WA-2 Draft 2

It was 7:30 AM; I had to get ready for school. Ouch! My new room has a garage door in it, serving as my privacy wall, which I just ran into. It was the first day of school and we had just moved to dirty Brooklyn from crisp, cool, Maine. I quickly had to decide between khaki pants or my classic plaid skirt to wear with my uniform. I decided upon the skirt because the gorgeous weatherman from channel 4 said, “Expect temperatures in the 80s.” I was all set.

I stepped outside onto the concrete sidewalk and whistled for a cab. Simultaneously I swung my hand up in an effort to catch a scruffy driver’s attention. A bright yellow cab screeched to a halt and invited me in. “Where to on this lovely morning missy, going to school?” He said in an unusually perky voice. I told him where to go and we sped off. Unexcpectedly, as we turned a corner, I was blinded by a bolt of light reflecting off of an enormous building’s windows so I almost did not notice that we were passing ground zero. The cab driver became silent and whispered for me to look. I frantically gripped the soft, smooth, seat and instead of obeying his command looked directly at the floor.

A block from Charleston Preparatory, my school, I whipped out my wallet and yanked out a 10 telling him to keep the change. At this point I was late. Sprinting up the steps to get to my first class, I ran into a bench right inside the doorway. I’m sure tomorrow morning there will be bruises resembling Jupiter spattering my legs. Running past the beautiful painting of the Mona Lisa that I hadn’t noticed when I toured the school back in June. Right as I hit the entrance to class I reached into my book bag and swiftly turned my phone off. Then the bell rang. As I was sitting down quickly my teacher greeted me with a cheek-to-cheek smile. The butterflies in my stomach kept fluttering faster and faster and with each flutter

For the next eight hours of the day, I spent going from class to class receiving the same, incredibly boring speech. The other kids were probably thinking the same thing I was. Most of their time was spent checking their phones to see what time it was. Then, when the bell rang everyone sprang up and lunged for the door. The first day of school in the city was over. I stepped back out into the sunny, city atmosphere, trying to settle down the thoughts flying through my head. As I meandered around the city with no place to rush off to I reflected upon school and how much I missed Maine. Life in a big city, being seventeen, will be incomparably different. I could only imagine what the future had tucked away in little pockets for me. This was a new beginning.

1 comment:

Ms. Wiesner said...

Your mixing tenses in your first paragraph.

This flows well, "I decided upon the skirt because the gorgeous weatherman from channel 4 said, “Expect temperatures in the 80s.” I was all set."

How does the cab driver know she is new to NY?

This fragment doesn't work, "Running past the beautiful painting of the Mona Lisa that I hadn’t noticed when I toured the school back in June."

SS "For the next eight hours of the day, I spent going from class to class receiving the same, incredibly boring speech"

I like the ending, but it comes out of no where. Wouldnt' she be frustrated with her first day experience?